"Monogamous VS Polygamous" ... a deep dilemma ..

I wish to advice everyone will read this page that what is written here comes from real deep of myself and that I passed through quite hard times to reach the situation I am now.

What I am writing here is not directly related to furry fandom, but surely it is something that many of you probably saw while being furries.

There has been a time a young buck, attracted by an environment where many things were going much easier than real life, where to meet nice, yiffy and willing to play people was quite easy, where relationships seemed to grow faster and better than real life, where to express emotions and feelings you never told to or felt for someone before seemed to be so natural, was going around looking for experiences ...

In fact, in some occasions and with some people, furry fandom is actually a place where all that above can be quite true.

A place where not real humans but furries instead are in, a place where many things not possible (or not so easily) in real life can happen, where to give/receive a hug or yiff with someone is considered quite normal and quite well accepted.

In this situation it's even more natural that some things can happen after a while .. first .. you get used to it .. second .. you can get quite involved .. third .. you can think you finally, after long time, found what you were looking for ..

So the buck met people .. some bad .. some really nice .. and feelings started to grow fast .. fast and deep in some cases, years of loneliness and wish to finally share something inside with someone other came out ..

Then, some big troubles also started to come.

The first one, is to realize that to have a person you can talk and share feelings having internet as communication media is not enough if that's all you can have ..

The second one is that when big distance is between people that feel so close and that would like to be closer and start sharing in real life what they just shared, for months .. or years .. on the internet, this is a real big trouble.

The third one is that what you look for and you offer to share with someone, can be not at all the same thing the other one is looking for in you and sharing with you and sometime can be very difficult to understand the difference.

In short, you could be looking for one kind of thing and feel something about it, and someone other could be looking for something quite different and feel something different about it and you both don't know.

This problem especially comes out in the situation where you, the other(s) or both feel and look for the same kind of things for different people, or let's say "better", for different furries.

There are some furries that say they feel the (more or less) "same" kind of things for different furries and they wish to be free to share themselves among all the furry friends they have.

So they look for different kind of experiences, they like to play with many furries (ok, let's say it in "full" << they like to have sex with >>), they like to share what they experienced and felt with their friends and they sometime are continuously looking for (or willing to) have new experiences with other furs.

For them, to share the experience of sex with different furs is ok and normal.

You could even be a "more special friend" but still have to accept this "sharing thing".

Now I'd like to ask you if you ever been in a situation like above and/or if you ever been one of these friends of someone ...

Me I have been ... I've been into such kind of thing.

I can tell you, in my opinion, all that can work till you accept and think you are "one of the many friends" (or the "special one" among the other friends) and that "is ok for you this kind of sharing".

But it can stop working, or simply never start to work at all for you.

Probably it depends on what you are looking for in your life and how do you feel and see life.

It can happen, it's surely normal, for some people that when some deep feelings start to grow that this "sharing thing" does not work any more, you don't want to be "one of the friends" or "the special one" and know that the one you feel so deep for, is sharing himself soul and body with other people too.

You simply start feeling that it's not ok this way of doing things.

When you start feeling that, the situation above, will never work for you any more no way to return back.

And so you fall in the category of "I don't like sharing" persons.

I am sure we can not speak about "wrong" or "right" ... if you feel ok, is good for you .. if not, it's not good for you.

The problem starts when you do not feel ok and the other feels ok, here .. something is starting to crack ... my experience has been that, between who does not like sharing and who does .. the "worse" will happen to the first one ... 

I believe that a person that is really caring for someone and able to understand the other's feelings should be able to understand at least why it's possible that a day one could feel not good about this sharing thing ...

At that point a choice has to be made ..  and if a choice can't be made, because there could be many reasons really making impossible to take decisions .. then .. at least we have to recognize that something is starting to get broken and/or hurt .. if not already happened.

So .. all that to say there can be different points of view in life and things one can look for in life.

I think that some things can not be shared at all costs and that is not right (for me) to share them.

I am now one that does not like or wish to share some things with others, but only with someone.

This to let you know my point of view, I simply feel that "to share everything" is not good for me and I do not want to do that.

I think now that even if it hurts, it's better to be alone rather than being involved into this sharing thing again.

I am not one that likes to be alone anyway, goats do not do well alone, they need company ...